The Daily Peeve / Rant

[iris lilies]

The whole New Testament is about helping people in need--people who don't fit into society's standards--the tax collector, the prostitute, the sick and disabled. I'm not even a practicing Christian anymore, but at least I understand that.

A couple of times in the past decade I donated to people who presented a case repugnant to me. I figured it was good for my soul.

Isnt that the lesson in the Bible, give to the causes that do not give you satisfaction?

So maybe, once a year at least, I should give to a cause that is HARD to give to.

[catherine]

A couple of times in the past decade I donated to people who presented a case repugnant to me. I figured it was good for my soul.

Isnt that the lesson in the Bible, give to the causes that do not give you satisfaction?

So maybe, once a year at least, I should give to a cause that is HARD to give to.

I think the spirit of that is more "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing." In other words, don't give for self-satisfaction.

One year our church Mission Committee, in the service of "doing good" for the local community, collected toys for a desingnated family and wrapped them and then a committee of three went to the home of the needy family to present them. When they received less than an ebullent reception for the good works, they were miffed. They came back and said, "They didn't even say thank you!" That's a case of someone doing something good to make THEM feel good.

It may have been more "Christian" to simply and silently mail a check to the family at Christmastime. But that's just IMHO. I think three people standing on my doorstep with presents for my kids that I couldn't afford would make me feel more shame than gratitude.

[Tradd]

Literally “I can’t right now” would not be accurate for me. Sometimes I am able to truthfully say to panhandlers “ I don’t have any money” because I usually do not carry cash.

I would never tell people in financial trouble to get a job even tho I might think it. In this case a job is not the issue anyway.

But we all run into cases of financial need so taking care of our immediate circle of influence is important.

I think it is great that you are helping out someone with whom you have a personal relationship, but if I were your friend, I probably wouldn’t contribute because this lady is not in my circle and also doesn’t fit my defined program of charitable giving, the latter of which doesn’t include much in the way of helping humans.

No is also an acceptable answer. Being a jerk and saying the person has to get a job is what has pissed me off so much.

[Tradd]

I think the spirit of that is more "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing." In other words, don't give for self-satisfaction.

One year our church Mission Committee, in the service of "doing good" for the local community, collected toys for a desingnated family and wrapped them and then a committee of three went to the home of the needy family to present them. When they received less than an ebullent reception for the good works, they were miffed. They came back and said, "They didn't even say thank you!" That's a case of someone doing something good to make THEM feel good.

It may have been more "Christian" to simply and silently mail a check to the family at Christmastime. But that's just IMHO. I think three people standing on my doorstep with presents for my kids that I couldn't afford would make me feel more shame than gratitude.

In the mid-90s, I was an active member of a Jaycee chapter in a Detroit suburb. We had a very profitable haunted house that funded a large Thanksgiving basket program. We got the family names from the school district. Everyone got free lunch. We called the families and asked them if they wanted a T’giving basket. If they said yes, we delivered it the Saturday before Thanksgiving to their house. We made notes of how we were treated, how the house looked, etc. Thumbs up or thumbs down for the Christmas basket program, where we also took the kids shopping at a discount store (Meijer) and then to McD for lunch.

If people weren’t what I called “appropriately appreciative” or rude when we were delivering the Thanksgiving baskets, they did not make the cut for Christmas. We had some people yelling and swearing at us. Being jerks in general and a few had an entitled attitude.

[happystuff]

One can say "no" and still be compassionate. I can't/don't/won't give to everyone or every organization that contacts me or stands outside the grocery store. I do what I can, when I can and I try to do so without judgement. (Key word here is "try"!) Giving - of anything - is such a personal thing and everyone has their own reasons and motivations. The hope is that, ultimately, goodness prevails.

In re-reading that, it sounds a little preachy and I certainly don't mean it that way. With the holiday season coming up, these situations will be arising more and more.

[Tradd]

One can say "no" and still be compassionate. I can't/don't/won't give to everyone or every organization that contacts me or stands outside the grocery store. I do what I can, when I can and I try to do so without judgement. (Key word here is "try"!) Giving - of anything - is such a personal thing and everyone has their own reasons and motivations. The hope is that, ultimately, goodness prevails.

In re-reading that, it sounds a little preachy and I certainly don't mean it that way. With the holiday season coming up, these situations will be arising more and more.

It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.

[catherine]

It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.

Absolutely.

[ToomuchStuff]

It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.

Now you have Sha na na going through my brain.

[happystuff]

It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.

Totally agree!

[Tradd]

Now you have Sha na na going through my brain.

That made me laugh.